I do my best to maintain a positive attitude, but the truth is, life really sucks sometimes. No matter how hard you try or pray, sometimes life doesn’t go your way. I apologize if this post is all over the place, but there are definitely a few things I need to get off my chest, and I hope my experiences and what I’m going through resonates with someone else. We all go through tough times, but none of us should have to experience it alone.
I wrote a post about how a few years, I lost someone very close to me and it rocked my world. The experience was very traumatic, and now, although maybe not to the same extent, I am experiencing it again.
It makes me question, is there something wrong with me? Why is it so hard for me to experience this sort of love? I’ve always had family problems, but for once, I’d like my family to feel whole and to be happy. It hurts when life begins to fall into place and suddenly it falls into pieces once again.
I learned from my last experience that life goes on, and I will be alright. Some seasons of life are harder than others, and this too shall pass. I’m alright, but what hurts the most is watching the ones you love face these challenges that they don’t deserve. This doesn’t affect me quite as deeply as it affects others around me, but being the empath I am, and understanding even just a smidge about the pain they are experiencing, really hurts me as well. I want to be happy, but even more so, I want the ones I love to experience happiness as well. They deserve it, and I feel so sorry that it’s become difficult for them to experience it.
It’s crazy to think of where I was three years ago and where I am now. I know I will continue to grow and life will get better, but dealing with death and loss will never be easy. Unfortunately, it’s a part of life and doesn’t always come with warning. Acceptance is hard, but I’ve learned it’s alright to sit with my feelings, and I’m allowed to not feel okay sometimes. I know some days are better than others, and everything will work out. I hope in three years time, the ones I love can find peace and happiness too. Although they have dealt with enormous loss these past three years, I hope life does have a plan for them and that this is just a rough start to their journey, but that wonderful adventures lie ahead. I trust the process of life and I know these tough times will get better.